LOL

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Holy Shit

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My Plants

If only I knew what this was!!!

Philodendron

Dill

Baby spiderling

Jade

Aloe

Ivy

Christmas Cactus



I'm very proud of them, and took some pictures of them this morning. They turned out much better once Josh showed me how to use the camera properly. Who knew?

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CNN: Screenshot Thursday

Okay. Let's see what we have here.
1. Freedom poses challenges for former hostages. Sure, but, I'm going to venture to guess it doesn't actually pose as many 'challenges' as being hostages did.
2. Wildfire descends on storied tourist town. Well, that's dramatic and alliterative.
3. 'Beautiful person' died on hospital floor. Well, she wasn't as beautiful as Gwyneth Paltrow, I guess, cause, you know, if she had been rich and beautiful, she wouldn't have been neglected to death now, would she?
4. Stars' passport files viewed repeatedly. And now we have the inverse of story 3. Someone's been viewing a celebrity's passport?! The HORROR. Well, you know, if anyone's been 'viewing my passport,' I doubt CNN would do me the favor of telling me about it.
5. CNNMoney: State goes to four-day week. One question. WHICH ONE? As long as it's not Ohio, I'm totally there dude.
6. CNNMoney: Poll ranks environment, economy. Well, thanks! That's informative. As long as they were ranked, that's enough for me!
7. Senator pushes national speed limit to save gas. Mmm. K. I push all sorts of bad ideas that are disgracefully behind the times too, but no one gives me any air time or consdieration. :(
8. YouTube ordered to reveal its viewers. What this headline doesn't reveal is that YouTube has actually been ordered to reveal its viewer's assholes!
9. Ticker: Poll shows troubling trend for McCain. Yes, everyone has realized that death is imminent and they don't want to vote for him.
10. Obama will 'continue to refine' Iraq policies. I'm glad someone is refining policies already!
11. 19th Dallas County inmate freed by DNA. Who's this fucking DNA character? I want him in my office ASAP. There's 12 or so Dz****ns who need off some DUI charges.
12. Longtime Bozo the Clown dead at 83
iReport.com: Share your 'Bozo' memories. Yeah, I took these two together. Alone they were just depressing. Together? Creepy but hilarious!
13. 'Dumpster Muffin' down; 3 tree-sitters remain. I don't know!!!
14. What kind of 'friends' are A-Rod and Madonna?. Well. I think we can all 'surmise' by your cute use of 'quotation' marks, now, can't we?
15. Man reveals all about July Fourth. Really? All? I'm there.
Okay, I'm gonna skip a few here, and just head for the money shot of CNN's headlines for the night:
16. Tape shows van explode into fireball. G'night.

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Fox News needs the Video Professor for Photoshop

Seriously guys.
Besides the fact that this is incredibly unprofessional, offensive, juvenile, you name it-- it's not even a fucking good Photoshop. CHRIST.

And yes, if you're wondering, this is real. Fucking Fox News is doctoring photos silently to make you think the people they don't like are eviler, uglier, more Jewish and with yellower chompers. I hope Jacques Steinberg and Steven Reddicliffe sue.

Honestly, though, the thing is, we've been moving toward acceptance of Photoshopping for a while now. I personally am not a fan of it-- whether you're trying to make someone look better (as is usually the case, I presume) or otherwise. Like, how can this be considered "retouching"? Only if by retouching you mean you have reveneered her entire face to look like a lunatic fucking Bratz doll, sure.

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This Fourth of July, try not to eat anything

The 'maters are tainted and so is the beef. Let's just sit back in out patriotic bikinis and thank God that, while we may be starving, at least we look hot as shit.

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A first step in the march toward protecting domestic pets

A judge ruled that you cannot, in fact, do whatever the fuck you want to a puppy and get away with it. (For those who don't want to read the actual story, a 19 year old stole a pomeranian puppy and then blew pot smoke in his face until it passed out, apparently just for lols. A judge sentenced him to 60 days in jail and 6 months probation.) Ceiling cat ruled that basement cat gets to take him for a long walk to the basement for eternity as well.

Hurray for that.

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Fill in the blank? Sure....

... you fucking hate women. SO? Also, LOL at the juxtaposition.

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Are you buds with the LOC on Flickr?

I am, and you should be too. They update often, their photo descriptions are awesome, and obviously, they have access to one of the United States' best collection of photos. It's just nice to see what they're up to every time I log in.

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Writer's Rooms

The Guardian's "Writer's Rooms" this weekend serves as inspiration...I'll post a picture of mine tomorrow, when the light is nice.

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CNN: Screenshot Caturday

"I'll rip apart raped kids, lawmaker vows."

Uh. Dude. Is that actually what he said?

UPDATE: Yes, that is what he said. Holy shit. This is awesome. In the way that it's one of the worst things I've ever seen.

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Uhh... I have a serious Miley Cyrus problem

And it goes something like this:

I don't know what my opinion of the "Vanity Fair" debacle was. I think to a large extent, that people see what they want to see in photos. I also think that that particular photo and image being portrayed was actually far less offensive than Miley's day-to-day, "acceptable" tween image. And, here, today, upon the release of Miley's new video, we have a fucking prime example of what I'm talking about.

The below video, is, in my opinion, kind of disgusting. I really think the shots of the girls cuddling teddy bears is... creepy. I know that its supposed to look "innocent" but, are we really this stupid as a society? I mean, its like we're somehow just absolutely hell bent on kidding ourselves. Fine, they look like "children. I don't know what the message is supposed to be here, but I get the feeling that its something about Miley being "complicated" ---like, she's not a girl, not yet, like a woman.

Hey-- I think she's cute and don't actually have a problem with ANY of her stuff or photos or whatever. What I have a problem with is people freaking out when a photo of her in a bra surfaces, and yet, somehow, this video, which I find to be much more offensive in a really obvious and processed way, is fine for your little baby fetuses to watch. K. Done.

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WTF?! Does it really offend you that much?

Like enough that the dmv is now offering a free replacement to the now hated three-letter acronym for "what the fuck"? Where is your minds?! I thought dirty license plates were hilarious and sought after? My grandparents thought it was a hoot that they scored the phone number 836-HELL back in the early 60's when rendering phone numbers as letters was still common... so much so that the number is STILL in the family! Anyway, what's really stunning about this is that not only did the local news channel in North Carolina write a story about it, our good friends over at CNN thought it was worthy of a headline, too!!!!

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This is real

I'm pretty familiar with "whitening" cosmetics, but I feel like most people aren't since they are marketed almost exclusively in Asia and how many of us actually read Jessica? (Hint: I do) Anyway. Let it sink in.

This particular product is known as "Cyber White EX" made by Estee Lauder. All the major cosmetics companies make them: there is Diorsnow. Clinique derma white. FANCL White Clear Mask. Loreal White Perfect. Guerlain Perfect White. Olay Definity. Shiseido White Lucent.

I am not judging these products. Yet.

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Oh. I see what you're doing there.

This morning's headlines are indescribably low on lols. Anyway. Just a few things pop out. First, these are probably two of the least flattering photos of Obama and Clinton I've ever seen, and I've been looking of photos of Clinton since at least 1991.

Next, "Babies bodysurf to get Obama's kisses." There's a video of this one, so you might just want to head over to CNN to get an explanation. I didn't watch it because I'm not lame, but my guess is that the babies are not actually doing any Eddie Vedder style moves. More like their mothers are catapulting them toward Obama's head to see if any of his magic sauce will rub off on them at the touch.

And finally, apparently, a town is moving to ban couches from front porches. Not exactly civil rights weight legislation, but still, something I think we can all get behind.

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