...from running him over.
Get it?
LINK
23 July 2007
CNN: Doctors find no cancer in Bush's colon
Doctors found no cancer in the five small growths removed from President Bush's colon, the White House said Monday.
The growths, called polyps, were found during a routine cancer scan that Bush underwent Saturday at the Camp David presidential retreat. Examinations showed the growths were benign -- in line with the White House's expectation that none of the five polyps appeared "worrisome," and that nothing they don't want to happen will happen.
Bush, 11, regularly exercises and is considered to be in excellent shape for a man his age.
Bush had temporarily transferred the powers of the presidency to Vice President Dick Cheney during his medical procedure Saturday morning, invoking the rarely invoked 25th Amendment. During the 31-minute procedure, Bush was sedated with a drug called propofol. While under sedation, doctors reportedly "had a poke" around the 2nd term president's noggin, finding no trace of brains, cells, or anything else they deemed "worrisome."
Nothing occurred during the 2 hours and 5 minutes of the transfer that required Vice President Cheney to take official action, aides said, but they reported that President Cheney, a consummate workaholic, ordered "eight Mexicans" be detained by their "employers," had a "few Arabs arrested, charged, convicted, and subsequently hanged" for "crimes against humans," and ordered the Empire State Building be razed in order to make way for something "tougher." Cheney's next goal, clearing Phil Spector of the murder of a "mere woman" was reportedly interrupted by Bush's awakening, but these reports remain unconfirmed this afternoon. Sources close to ex-President Cheney do confirm over-hearing him scream, "I mean, the man invented the 'wall of sound!'" at White House Chief of Staff Joshua B. Bolten just before the other president woke up.
Doctors also report that Bush repeatedly asked if he could keep the five polyps "as pets," but that his request was declined as being "ridiculously un-presidential."
Tags:
CNN
20 July 2007
13 July 2007
A Letter to the "Editors" of Rolling Stone
I'd like to respond just for a moment to the "editors," "writers" and "fact-checkers" of Rolling Stone, in the hopes that someone out there living on the planet earth with more than 8 brain cells will read this and say, "damn this girl is not as stupid as she looks."
Dear Rolling Stone staff:
In your "Rock & Roll Daily" report of 7/10/07, you say, "Lavigne’s manager issued a statement that attempted to discredit the Rubinoos’ suit by pointing out that they’re a bit, well, comically deluded. “Bands that have ripped us blind: the Rasberries, the Beach Boys, the Beatles,” reads a quote from their MySpace page." While I realize that you're merely quoting Lavigne's management, who, in addition to not being critically-thinking geniuses, have every motivation in the world to try to make The Rubinoos (who have brought an at least wholly valid suit against Lavigne) look like absolute lunatics, in addition to being the "nobodies" they are; YOU however, are a rock journal paper, with money, a staff, and I assume you'd like to keep at least the perception that you do your homework out there.
Now, I don't have the readers, the funding, or the staff that you do, nor do I have the luxury of being able to spend as long as I want on my articles- look at all the typos I print on a daily basis!! But I'll tell you, when I read this "article" of yours, with this quote that you printed without even moving on to question for one hay-second, I had a few thoughts.
1. The reference is a MYSPACE page, and I'm fairly certain anything goes there. Also, can't you just call The Rubinoos up and say, "Hey, were you being SERIOUS about The Beatles and The Beach Boys ripping you off? Cause that seems unlikely...." I mean, even if you're as retarded as you seem to be and can't figure out for yourself that their "Influences" section is obviously intended as a joke, you really dropped the ball here.
2. The real lynch pin: The Beatles broke up in 1970. That's the year that The Rubinoos formed. While you might be too busy reading "Being and Nothingness" to recognize hyperbole when you see it- well, that's what I'm here for. Also, The Beach Boys? Well, unless The Rubinoos mean that The Beach Boys borrowed from them for "Kokomo," that claim is obviously a joke. Do you get what I'm getting at? The Rubinoo's Myspace page claims that some bands that formed BEFORE they existed ripped them off, and you just go ahead and print the statement from Mrs. 41's management that because of this, they are "delusional"? I think it's far more likely that they, stupidly, like everyone else on Myspace, are merely making a stupid fucking joke. It was probably your duty to point that out, especially considering the fact that, as the hours fly by, it becomes ever-more apparent that it's at least POSSIBLE that Avril Lavigne and everyone involved in her machine are not only completely full of shit, but also that they have every reason to be flailing around like they are because they're all totally fucked.
In short: stop acting like the corporate asshole-lickers that you are for one second, and think about who you quote unquestioningly before you do it.
Update: Other posts on the Avril Lavigne/The Rubinoos/Lush scandal:
A Letter to the "Editors" of Rolling Stone 13 July 2007
Loves It 11 July 2007
Your Dear Media 6 July 2007
Vindication: Avril Lavigne, Lush, and The Rubinoos = Lawsuit 5 July 2007
Avril Lavinge's "Girlfriend" 30 April 2007
Hey! Hey! You! You! 23 April 2007
11 July 2007
Loves It
I don't even know what to say at this point.
Avril Lavigne/Peaches
Update: Other things I have written about Avril Lavigne stealing shit from people:
A Letter to the "Editors" of Rolling Stone 13 July 2007
Loves It 11 July 2007
Your Dear Media 6 July 2007
Vindication: Avril Lavigne, Lush, and The Rubinoos = Lawsuit 5 July 2007
Avril Lavinge's "Girlfriend" 30 April 2007
Hey! Hey! You! You! 23 April 2007
Tags:
avril lavigne,
peaches,
Total Fucks
08 July 2007
"I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend"
So, yes, I feel like many people are looking for an MP3 of Lush's "I Wanna Be Your Girfriend"... I know that it's really rare and hard to find as it were, but I've got it. So, I'm going to try to make this happen. While I DO NOT advocate stealing music in any form, (note to Mrs. 41) I'm going to try to put up a sample of the song- yeah, I'll put up the part that is most blatantly stolen. Cause I am fairly certain that it is this version of the song that was stolen.
UPDATE: While I highly doubt this song is on MySpace legally, on MySpace it is, and you can hear it right here. Leave me your derisive comments about how they're not the same cause I love a good spat. Good night.
UPDATE 2: The Rubinoos have, quite kindly, provided us with comparisons of all the songs involved in the scandal of the 21st century. Man do they deserve a billion dollars.
Lyrics to the original
UPDATE 3: Here are all the other posts I have written about this scandal:
A Letter to the "Editors" of Rolling Stone 13 July 2007
Loves It 11 July 2007
Your Dear Media 6 July 2007
Vindication: Avril Lavigne, Lush, and The Rubinoos = Lawsuit 5 July 2007
Avril Lavinge's "Girlfriend" 30 April 2007
Hey! Hey! You! You! 23 April 2007
06 July 2007
Your Dear Media
Yeah, this one's not going to go away so easily, it seems. Avril Lavigne's having ripped off "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" has her HEATED this hot Friday afternoon, my dear media, friends and fans (yeah, we know who's first in our hearts, and so does she):
"To my dear media, friends, and fans,
You may have heard some news that two guys who wrote for some band from the 1970s I have never in my life heard of called the "Rubinoos" are trying to sue me. They have a song called "I Want To Be Your Boyfriend" that has no musical similarities to the song "Girlfriend" that Luke Gottwald and I wrote together. They claim that a small part of the lyrics are the same and are saying that I took these from them. I had never heard this song in my life and their claim is based on 5 words! All songs share similar lyrics and emotions. As humans we speak one language.
Off the top of my head, two other songs that I can immediately think of with this type of lyric are "Hey, hey, you, you get off of my cloud" by the Rolling Stones and "Hey little girl I want to be your boyfriend" by the Ramones. Simply put, I have been falsely accused of ripping their song off. Luke and I have done nothing wrong and there is no merit to their claim.
...
Let it be crystal clear that I have not ripped anyone off or done anything wrong. I have never had to deal with anything publicly like this and surely never wanted to. I do not deserve this negative press and attention. I take pride in the songs that I write and appreciate the opportunities to work with some great writers and musicians.
My fans have been so dedicated to my music and it is because of them that I have this amazing career. Thank you again to my fans for continuing to be so supportive. This is a very positive time for me in my life. I have a very successful career and I feel very lucky to have accomplished all that I have. I am so thankful every day.
I would like to say more but my lawyers have advised me not to. Why is it when you get to a certain level people want to attack you?.... and now I have said my piece.
Avril"
And so, here's my response...
Dear Avril Lavigne:
Umm... OKAY, there. I sense a little indignation, and a TINY bit of arrogance when you insinuate that The Rubinoos are "some band" merely because you've never "heard" of them, and it's just "five words." Uh, way to miss the point, fuck-tard! I like how all of a sudden you've dumbed down the argument by saying it's just "5 words," like melody, sentiment, key, chord structure, and time signature have no place here! Get a fucking life, dude! You may have never heard of them, but you surely have a lawyer and I doubt he's totally stoked on your "statement" cause it makes you sound like a whining baby, not what you really are: a billionaire whose handlers ripped off a song.
Cause see, that's where the "slap in the face" really comes in- this exposes what so many of us (yawn) already knew: that while you take major writing credits on your songs, you don't actually "pen" them- and by that, I mean that you don't write the hit-making structure, the hooks, the arrangements, the melodies, the harmonies (would that there were some!). Sure, I'll give you credit where credit is due- I bet you write "You know I am damn precious," sure. But this lawsuit belies what I've known for a very long time - i.e., you have some hacks who write the bulk of each song, and those people, my darling, have indeed, heard "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend," and its much better known, and far more recent cover version, "I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend." It was, afterall, the b-side to the Top 40 hit "Ladykillers" in 1996. I feel bad for you, but your pockets, lined as they are with gold, shouldn't suffer too much. The indignation should be turned, fair Queen of Canada-land, on your writers, not on the writers of the original song that you have indeed, though mayhaps unknowingly, "ripped off." Come on, your shit wasn't that original to begin with, why the long face? You still have Derrick.
Update: Other Posts I Wrote on this Situation:
A Letter to the "Editors" of Rolling Stone 13 July 2007
Loves It 11 July 2007
Vindication: Avril Lavigne, Lush, and The Rubinoos = Lawsuit 5 July 2007
Avril Lavinge's "Girlfriend" 30 April 2007
Hey! Hey! You! You! 23 April 2007
Rainy Thursday Night
Last night, I saw the new Michael Bay film, "Transformers." I know I have very little room to work here, considering it IS a Michael Bay film, but I want to put forward a few plot problems, my biggest one being, when the Military finally (after 3 seconds of babble from what's-his-name - Sam) gets behind the idea that the Transformers are "good," and the ensuing street battle... ensues, how can they tell which are the Transformers and which are the Decepticons? How can they tell who to shoot and who not to shoot? I mean, they seem to do fine with it, but HOW? Also, couldn't the cube heal Bumble Bee? I need more information about the cube. Like Josh says, it turned a Mountain Dew machine into a Decpticon and it couldn't fix up Bumble Bee's torn legs? Can the cube only create bad stuff? Oh, and the movie was about an hour too long. Most lax editing process ever. I'm gonna stick with the original, I guess. Plus, were ALL the Transformers American Cars? Weird.
Tags:
michael bay,
transformers
05 July 2007
Vindication: Avril Lavigne, Lush, and The Rubinoos= Lawsuit
Look, I've been saying this for awhile now, so I have to say I feel vindicated to see that FINALLY people have wisened up to the fact that "Girlfriend" is like, killer ripped off, man, but I want to offer some advice to the dudes suing her (rock on man, you're definitely gonna win): please note that it seems likely that Avril & Co. are ripping of the Lush cover of your song as much as they are your song. What I mean is, they obviously heard that version of the song and THAT's what they wanted to rip off... now, obviously, the Lush cover gives all the credit to the proper writers, but I think your case is much stronger, cause when you hear the Lush version of the song, it's like, "holy shit, I can't believe she did this!!!"
Update: All the Posts I Wrote About This Scandal:
A Letter to the "Editors" of Rolling Stone 13 July 2007
Loves It 11 July 2007
Your Dear Media 6 July 2007
Avril Lavinge's "Girlfriend" 30 April 2007
Hey! Hey! You! You! 23 April 2007
Lyrics to the original
Tags:
avril lavigne,
famous assholes,
Lush,
news,
the rubinoos
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