Here we are, at the end of the year. 2007 was the 2nd year in a row I've kept a list of books I'm reading. I really like keeping track. For 2008, I'm not only going to keep a list, I'm also going to start a little journal to record some thoughts on each book to see if I come up with anything profound. I did my best this year to read a lot of non-fiction. I wonder what I'll read next year!!??
1. Watchmen, by Alan Moore.
2. Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte.
3. The Selected Short Stories of Franz Kafka, translated by Willa and Edwin Muir.
4. The Location of Culture, by Homi K. Bhaba.
5. The Evolution of Civilizations, by Carroll Quigley.
6. From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, by E.L. Konigsberg.
7. The Dog Whisperer, by Paul Owens.
8. Darkly Dreaming Dexter, by Jeff Lindsay.
9. Summer Crossing, by Truman Capote.
10. Double Love, by Kate William
11. Orientalism, by Edward Said.
12. The Sea, the Sea, by Iris Murdoch.
13. Distinction, by Pierre Bourdieu.
14 Secrets by Francine Pascal.
15. Playing With Fire by Francine Pascal.
16. Power Play by Francine Pascal.
17. All Night Long by Francine Pascal.
18. Dangerous Love by Francine Pascal.
19. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankel.
20. Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabakov.
21. Marie Antoinette: The Journey by Antonia Fraser.
22. Mary, Queen of Scots by Antonia Fraser.
23. A Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
24. The Long Halloween by Alan Moore.
25. Flux: Women on Sex, Work, Love, Kids, and Life in a Half-Changed World by Peggy Orenstein.
26. Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.
27. The Line of Beauty by Alan Hollinghurst.
28. The Gathering by Anne Enright.
29. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.
30. The Culture Industry by Theodor Adorno.
31. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion.
32. Myths of Power: A Marxist Study of the Brontes by Terry Eagleton.
31 December 2007
BOOKS: 2007
Tags:
2007 books,
book lists,
books,
new years resolutions,
Reading
29 December 2007
The Tragedie (Tragedy) of Mariam
The Celebration of Women Writers is a website/project I have volunteered for for several years now. Basically, they are creating a digital library of hard to find and sometimes out of print texts by women writers, many of whom were relegated to the dustbin years ago. While feminist criticism, and the response to it, has done a lot of work toward resurrecting these writers to their deserved position, the availability of these texts often remains really low, to this day. In the short time I've been interested in this project and topic at large, much progress has been made, and I think helped by projects such as The Celebration. For example, one of my favorite authors, encountered in a seminar on 18th century British Literature, is Eliza Haywood. The first story of hers that I read was "Fantomina," in an anthology. While Haywood's writings were pretty commonly available in university libraries at that time, almost none of her numerous (I mean NUMEROUS) novels were in regular editions that anyone could purchase. "Fanotmina" was the first project I worked on for The Celebration of Women Writers, and I have gone on to work on several other Eliza Haywood works. These days, happily, much of her work is actually in print, and deservedly so, I think: her stories are fun, easy to read, and often strike me as wholly modern.
Anyway. The most recent project I've worked on was "The Tragedie of Mariam." It was a real beast of a project for several reasons: we left it in "unmodernized" (though Modern!) English, the typography of the manuscript facsimiles was often to read, there was a lot of formatting (because it is a play), and it's very long. Not the rambling good fun of Haywood. But certainly a good read. Check it out.
23 December 2007
Avril Lavigne: Still Sucking
Avril Lavigne Drunk As Hell - Watch more free videos
My other Avril Lavigne Posts:
We all know what that means. Told you so.
Here's all the previous shit I've written on this, my favorite "scandal" of 2007. Yeah, I'm into all the nerdy scandals. Nothing salacious here.
A Letter to the "Editors" of Rolling Stone 13 July 2007
Loves It 11 July 2007
Your Dear Media 6 July 2007
Vindication: Avril Lavigne, Lush, and The Rubinoos = Lawsuit 5 July 2007
Avril Lavinge's "Girlfriend" 30 April 2007
Hey! Hey! You! You! 23 April 2007
Tags:
avril lavigne celebrities,
drunk,
videos
Poor Topanga...
First she gets fat, then she gets caught drunk. Happens to the best of us.
You know what I like to say. At least its not internet porn.
Tags:
celebrities,
danielle fishel,
dui,
Gossip
19 December 2007
CNN and Britney Spears: Melodrama At Its Finest
You know, it was going to be my New Year's Resolution to stop swearing on this blog, because I'm a family woman now, and who knows!? my family may be reading this!! But you know, sometimes life... I mean, CNN intervenes.
Yeah. Britney Spears' little sister is pregnant. Big surprise. What is but probably should not be more surprising, is that CNN, the worst news network in the history of news networks, has taken the story and spun it into some of the lamest melodrama I've seen or heard in months.
"What," they ask, hands wringing, blank/pale faced, "are you going to TELL YOUR KIDS ABOUT THIS!?" Yeah. That's the fucking story here, ladies and gentlemen. What are we going to tell our children about a teenage pregnancy!?
"Parents are struggling with what to tell their children after finding out that Britney Spears' younger sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, is pregnant." O rly? That's probably because you ASKED them. Because, I kinda seriously doubt they barraged you with shitloads of letters this morning. I mean, the ink was barely dried on the PerezHilton post before you put this story up! People are struggling? Are they also struggling with what to tell their children about the war and other millions of things that are all fucked up and crazy?
I get the point. It's a big deal that such a "role model" as Jamie Lynn Spears, such an icon of devout Christianity turns out to be a regular 16 year old kid, but you know what? I can give your struggling readers a few pointers on where to begin discussing this horrific tragedy with their children.
1. Kids don't read the news that much. Don't mention it, like you don't mention so many other things. Hope that thoughts of a Wii obscure any concern they may have for their favorite Nickelodeon star's oven bun.
2. If you must, try being honest. Kids aren't retarded. In fact, most of them have seen hardcore pornography by the time they're 16. Most of them are banging whoever they can get their hands on. We're talking full-fledged crazy sex shit here. Just ask Oprah. I bet by the time this conversation hits 5 minutes, your kid will be schooling you on... you know, ****.
3. Use it as an example of why kids shouldn't have babies at 14... they should wait until at LEAST 16. Just like good old Jamie Lynn.
4. Or, you could go for broke and be one of the greatest parents ever. Tell them that there's no reason their lives have to suck like the Spears' do. Tell them they can be free of such idiocy. That it's normal to be interested in sex at that age, but that it doesn't mean that they're adults, capable of raising families when they are barely out of high school. Tell them birth control exists. Explain to them that Jamie Lynn's parents have done their daughters a terrible disservice by not really raising them. By chasing dollars instead of really loving them. By hiding behind religion and the false idea of "chastity" and "morality" and lying to themselves and everyone around them that their famous daughters would get through if only they let Christ be their guide. Tell them that the bullshit that passes for culture in this world is nothing more than an ever increasing search for fame and that it is usually empty. Tell them that sex is human and normal but that it need neither be a source of shame nor exhibitionism. Tell them to keep their underpants on when being photographed in public.
5. Do what I do. Take comfort in the misery of the famous. Be glad it's not your kid.
Tags:
britney spears,
celebrities,
CNN,
Gossip,
jamie lynn spears,
news
Holiday Baking
Today I'm making Pumpernickel Rye Bread, despite not feeling my best, and designing our Christmas menu (it's just for two this year), and hopefully making sugar cookies. This is the first Pumpernickel bread I have ever made. It's baking right now, and smells really great. I hope it turns out.
Tags:
baking,
bread,
food,
food and drink,
rye bread
18 December 2007
Lost World Found! (a.k.a. "I can has honeymoon?")
I lOOOOOOOVEEEEe dinosaurs. I got married in The Carnegie Museum of Natural History to prove my devotion to dinosaurs. And mammoths, and giraffes, and elk, and caribou, and polar bears, and elephants, and and and.
So now in Dubai they are basically opening a Jurassic Park!
Road trip?
14 December 2007
A Letter to Michael Vick
Dear Mr. Vick,
Happy Holidays.
I have just a few things to say to you tonight, and would really appreciate your attention, since, apparently, your personal travails seem to warrant my attention and also that of the sentencing judge in your case.
I am opposed to the death penalty. Morally, totally opposed to it. I am also against the torture, in any form, of human beings or animals. I believe that humans and animals, regardless of their behavior, have certain rights, just by way of their existence on this tiny, dirty little planet we've made for ourselves.
That said, your behavior is obviously reprehensible, unacceptable, and sickening. The total lack of regard that you have shown to these animals, these beings which man has trained to depend upon him for their lives, their happiness, their well being, has been proven beyond a doubt. Even you yourself have admitted to "some" wrongdoing-- though we all know you are undoubtedly guilty of far more than has been proven in a court of law.
So, you are sentenced to 23 months in prison for your disgusting acts. Not enough, some will say, and I agree. Not enough time. Certainly, however, better than NO time. Certainly enough to ruin and maybe end your career, which is at the very least what you deserve. I concur with the judges decision. Not off with your head, young man. Just off to the slammer for a wee bit of time. Goodbye!!
What's that? Oh, you've written a letter! You've become suddenly verbose. You want us to know you are not an animal. And George Foreman, the Mayor of whatever hole you live in, and Hank Aaron-- your own mother come to your aid and THEY write letters, too. They talk about what a fine young man you are, what a caring father, how much you like young people. How SORRY you are.
Great. I believe them. But to what end are these letters written? You want a reduction in your sentence. Shame on you! You should thank the judge and say, "I am willing to serve my time." I feel for your mother. But SHAME on Hank Aaron, George Foreman and whoever that Mayor is. Shame on all of you. To say what you say in these letters, even if it is all the Gospel truth, does nothing to change what you have done. Does nothing to take that away.
And nothing can undo that. No amount of remorse after the fact changes the facts as they are: you tortured and murdered animals. Not so far from torturing human beings. What kind of a role model does such a thing, and then asks like a baby, not only to be forgiven, but for his punishment to be reduced? If your next door neighbor, a nobody with not nearly such a nice income as yourself, took and tortured and killed your child's puppy just for the fun of it, would you be so forgiving? Would that person deserve no punishment?
Because these dogs were pit bulls, I guess it's easy to think of them as beasts. Easy to say, well, they are just dogs. But truth be told, they could have been teensy Chihuahuas that you drowned and electrocuted, no difference but in size. And you would look just as stupid, trying to get out of having done something bad.
I don't believe in God, but you seem to. Take the time while you're in jail to re-read that part of the Bible where God gives man dominion over the animals, Mr. Vick, cause I'm pretty sure you misunderstood.
Love,
Penny,
Laura June's dog.
13 December 2007
CNN: Oprah Getting Backlash on her Message Boards for Taking Up 'Politics'
Ensuring that millions of racists and idiots with access to the worldwideweb will now race on over to her website and take the opportunity to spread some love about.
Go for it, Oprah. It's the whole reason we're all alive.
Tags:
celebrities,
CNN,
obama,
oprah winfrey,
television,
tv
10 December 2007
Matzo Ball Soup
I forgot to take pictures of this.
This was the first time I made actual Matzo balls without the aid of another, more involved person, so I guess in the past I was not really paying attention to what was going on, because I thought it was much harder to do than it was.
Now, I had 3 recipes I was working from, and here's what I've come up with for the best and easiest way to make really good soup.
1. Get someone cooler than you to deskin (but not de-bone) two whole chicken legs. Yuck!
2. Cut up about half of a white onion in mince sized pieces. Put a little olive oil in a non-stick frying pan, and sautee the onion in that for a while, just until the onion is soft. When it is, remove it from the heat and let it cool.
3. Take about half a cup of matzo meal, one to two eggs (depending on the desired consistency of the balls), a PINCH of salt (DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO ANY INSTRUCTIONS THAT SAY to use a teaspoon or GOD forbid a teaspoon and a half! A pinch will do it!) A little oil, and the onion that you've cooked. Mix this up really well, cover it with plastic wrap, and refrigerate while you do the following...
4. Take the other say, half of the onion, chop that up, throw it in a nice sized pan or stock pot. Turn the heat on to like, medium low I guess. Add the two chicken legs, about 70 oz of chicken stock (now, this is more than the recipes ever recommend, but I like a lot of broth!!!) -- I prefer to make my own stock, but sometimes I don't and this time I did not. My favorite store bought chicken stock is Imagine Organic-- it's fat free and low sodium. Then add about 2-3 stalks of finely chopped celery, and about 4 carrots.
5. Bring all this to a boil. Add some fresh parsley, a little salt and pepper, a some dill. Simmer about half an hour.
6. Take out the chicken legs, and remove all the meat, throwing it back into the pot. Ignore the dog when she begs for the chicken bones. Simmer more.
7. Get the matzo out of the refrigerator, oil your hands a bit, and form into balls, dropping them into the soup as you go... they turn white quite quickly.
I seasoned a little more and there you have it. Oh it was good!!!!
Tags:
chicken,
cooking,
food,
food and drink,
Laura June,
matzo ball soup,
Recipes
07 December 2007
Dear Madonna
Why? Why call it that? I'm really excited about hearing your new album, considering the last one kicked so much ass, although I have some fears about it sounding like Bedtime Stories, (read: "urban," read, "hard") but why call it Licorice?! I guess you must have a song called that. Maybe you wanted to entitle it something that couldn't possibly be more banal. Hooray! You succeed! What a big let down for me. Anyway, here's a small list of candies better than licorice. There's probably still time to change the cover art in order for it to say:
1. Milky Way
2. Ding Dong
3. Popsicle
4. Hershey's Kiss
5. Nerds
6. Dem Bones
Tags:
celebrities,
entertainment,
madonna,
Music,
news
06 December 2007
02 December 2007
A Letter to the Editors of VenusZine
Dear Venus:
I take issue with your Winter 2007 issue, which features Dita Von Teese on the cover.
I take issue with your choice of a cover model, and your feature story of her, not so much because I have a real problem with Miss Sweet- to be honest, I don't. While I think there are probably thousands of "better choices" out there for Venus to do cover stories on, I also accept the fact that Dita sells magazines, so fine. Go for it.
Here begins my list of real problems with the article.
1. You profile Dita Von Teese as if you are "introducing" her to me-- like I maybe have never heard of her. Do you exist in a vacuum? Everyone has heard of Dita Von Teese. Your article, while mentioning her appearance in such publications as "Bizarre" and "Marquis," and the book, "The Art of Japanese Bondage," totally leaves aside the fact that she is frequently profiled in Vogue -- remember that May, 2006 spread, "The Bride Wore Purple,"? More on that in a minute. Suffice to say that your article rather misleadingly lists her "credits" of indie publications, skipping over the fact that she's so high-profile that we'd have to be literally living on another planet in order to have never heard of her. Thanks for not giving me, the reader, any credit, and for leaving out whatever information doesn't fit your (or Dita's) agenda of how she should be portrayed in this particular magazine.
2. Your article reads like a press release. In fact, allow me to quote you for a moment. "...Von Teese appeared on the covers of several magazines, including Bizarre and Marquis, and the book The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage. She landed on the pages of Playboy several times, including a cover in December 2002, to which she owes the story of her last name. Originally known simply as "Dita" for silent-film actress Dita Parlo, she adopted "Von Teese" when the magazine asked for a last name. After flipping through a phonebook and selecting "Von Treese," the publication misspelled it. Adoring the typo, Dita Von Teese was born." Okay. When I read this, it sounded extremely familiar to me-- the facts, the order that they were presented and, and the wording. So I went to the first place anyone familiar with the "internet" would go -- Dita Von Teese's Wikipedia entry. Here's what I find. "Von Teese appeared on a number of fetish magazine covers, including Bizarre and Marquis. It was around this time when she appeared, bound and partially suspended, on the cover of Midori's book, The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage. Von Teese was featured in Playboy magazine in 1999, 2001 and 2002. It was her Playboy cover in December of 2002 that gave her her last name. Originally known simply as "Dita", a tribute to silent film actress Dita Parlo,Playboy insisted she use a last name. She picked "Von Treese" out of the phonebook, but it was misspelled "Von Teese". Dita, preferring the typo, adopted it as her name." (link) Now, either you, the magazine, have taken Wikipedia's entry for the Gospel and copy and pasted into your terrible article, or, as I assume, both articles are based on the same source, Von Teese's bio information, available on her website or handed out to interviewers before the fact. While all that's fine, and part of journalism as I understand it, I see no need for your publication to waste "valuable" print space re-printing, nearly word-for-word, information that is already common knowledge, and widely available, not to mention almost plagiarism-- even down to misspelling "phone book" as one word! How boring.
3. Why isn't Miranda July, also featured in the magazine, on the cover instead of Dita Von Teese? Answer real quick.
4. I see that your interviewer has no problem swallowing Von Teese's garbage, absolute GARBAGE, about how she is presenting an "alternative" form of beauty to the world. What I want to know is HOW? In what way is she "alternative"? Because she's a brunette? She is a classic portrayal of American sexual beauty-- Bettie Page and any number of pin-up girls, are all iconic in stature. An alternative form of beauty? Well, a fat girl is an alternative beauty, one with hairy legs, -- that's alternative, one who doesn't wear any makeup at all -- the fucking Dove commercials do a better job of portraying alternative forms of beauty than she does. I think it was your job, as interviewer, as a magazine, to question her statements, even a little bit, for the sake of your readers, and their sense of who they are, and their own self-esteem, rather than just nodding while Heather Sweet lauds herself for being fake-- fake hair, fake tits, fake face, fake decade. While I have NO PROBLEM with her doing what she is doing, or looking the way that she looks, it MUST be pointed out that her aesthetic is a male created image of something that doesn't exist now, and didn't exist in the 40's-- which is where she belongs. Again, she can look however she wants, that's not the point. But to act like her "image" is an achievement in itself, or as if it is something different than fashion models have been shoving down our throats for the last century is a little, well, fake. Why don't you ask her what she eats? What her favorite books are? What she likes to do in her down time? What about asking her if she uses vintage maxipads instead of tampons? Oh, that's right, because your magazine was just interested in helping her push her own agenda further. You assumed that no one is interested in her beyond her sense of "fashion," her interest in vintage nail polish or how to look glamorous. And maybe you were right.
5. Finally, let's just get back to Marilyn Manson for one second, because, if we're laying our cards out on the table, that's how most people know who the fuck Dita Von Teese is. My mom certainly had never read an issue of "Erotica" magazine, but damn if she didn't know that Dita Von Teese had two cats and that her wedding gown was designed by Galliano (from that Vogue profile that never happened). I assume you guys were granted the interview by agreeing not to ask any questions about Marilyn Manson or Sweet's ill-fated marriage to him. Fine. That's how it goes-- you want to interview Whitney Houston, you can't ask about Bobby Brown. I'm realistic. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't have mentioned him in the prose part of the article. Because you should have. It's a glaring omission and one that makes everything you write after suspect. To pretend that that part of her life just didn't happen is misleading to the extreme given Mr. Manson's fame and their high-profile relationship. While I see no reason for it to be a focus of the piece, to not mention it is just another part of the illusion, another proof that, when talking to Heather Sweet-- I mean, Dita Von Teese, reality just doesn't exist.
I'm sure you won't bother printing this letter, as it's not a "positive" enough vibe for your publication, so I'll go ahead and save you the trouble, and print it on my blog.
Have a lovely day.
Love,
Laura June
Songs That Didn't Used to Exist
Brooklyn, New York.
