Songs that Didn't Used to Exist: 2/1/08 - 3/1/08

29 February 2008

What Foreign "news source" Blew Prince Harry's Cover?

Two guesses.

A/K/A

28 February 2008

How Well Do You Know Bill Gates?

CNN reports today that Bill Gates has his own LinkedIn profile. Big surprise, right, that he wants to show off his resume. Shocker.

In less reported news, he also has a profile at another social networking site, Goth Passions. Top friend? Her:

They share all the same interests. Goth clubbing. Goth literature. Goth art. That Vampire episode of The X Files (the Goth one, not the other one). That Tim Burton font. Etc.

Where's My Missing Monkey Sock?

Two guesses.

27 February 2008

I Cook for You: Provencal Vegetable Soup

Provencal vegetable soup is different from other vegetable soups I've had/made in several respects. First off, they never seem to have a meat-stock base, refreshing for vegetarians -- but I think the reason for it is really that any "stock" base seems to over power a lot of the delicate vegetables' flavors. This recipe, culled from two main sources and overhauled by me accordingly, is really quick and simple, as long as you don't mind chopping.

Anyway: reminder -- use the water, not stock. I've tried chicken stock. Not as good as the water! You'd think it would be bland, but it's not!!!

Things You'll Need
(This is for about one big stock pot full. Easily halved or doubled, etc.)

Olive oil
2 cloves of garlic
3 tsp. Herbes de Provence
5 cups of water
1 small white onion, minced
1 large leek, sliced thinly
2 large carrots, finely minced
1-2 stalks of celery, finely chopped
1 cup of fava, navy, or black beans
1 cup green beans, ends chopped off and cut in half
2-3 small potatoes, peeled and chopped small
1 cup fresh spinach, chopped very finely
1 zucchini, chopped
2 tomatoes, seeded and chopped small

(Note: If you are using dried navy beans, soak them over night and cook them first, by themselves: bring them to a boil in water that covers them by about an inch, reduce the heat and simmer for about 45 minutes. Don't bother draining them, just turn off the heat and set aside).

1. In a stock pot, heat the olive oil-- about 3 tbsp. Add the white onion, and the leeks, cooking a few minutes until they start to soften. Add the garlic. Cook five minutes.

2. Add the carrots, cook, covered, about 10 minutes.

3. Add the celery and the green beans, and the herbes de provence, stirring, for five minutes.

4. Add the water, turning the heat to high to bring to a boil, Add the potatoes. Once boiling, reduce heat to simmering again, adding the zucchini and the beans (unless you're using black beans: if you are, wait until you add the tomatoes to add them too), simmering another 20 minutes.

5. Add the tomatoes (and black beans if using) cooking another 10 minutes.

6. Add the spinach last, seasoning with salt and pepper. Garnish with basil pistou. (SEE BELOW)

Basil Pistou for the Soup
This is such a delicious addition to this soup you should never make one without the other.

Mix in a food processor:
1 cup fresh basil
3-5 tbsp. olive oil
1/3 cup grated parmesan or romano cheese
salt and pepper.

SOOOOO YUM.

CNN & Oprah: Ten Guys Women Should Run From

Story Highlights:
-There are certain types of men that women should run from
-It may first appear charming, but jealous boyfriends will quickly get irritating
-Watch out for guy who is looking for financial support (he should be supporting you, girl!).
-Don't give a guy with minor violent tendencies a second chance; or minor suicidal tendencies. Minor gay tendencies are worthy of a second chance. Usually. Especially if you're over 130 pounds.
-Don't give most anyone a second chance: you are the queen of the universe, and he should know it right upfront.

(Oprah.com) -- One guy is needier than quicksand. Another is jealous of your cocker spaniel. A third quietly hates all womankind. Here's a list of men you should put in your rearview mirror, ASAP. STAT.

Joe No-Show

You meet in a city where neither of you lives, at a convention or a wedding. The calls and e-mails are making the phone lines sweat; two months later, he's begging you to visit.

You tell the woman next to you on the plane that, after years of searching, you think you've met The One, and the two of you giggle with anticipation all the way to baggage claim.

Thirty minutes later, when the carousel stops going around, she looks at you with deep pity and asks if she can give you a ride somewhere. That's the moment to go straight back to the ticket counter.

I have no idea what kind of fuck wad would get themselves into this scenario, but this is not a "guy" to avoid-- it's a human to avoid.

Mr. Jealousy

At first, he'll get a little short with a waiter who fucks you. Then he'll be exasperated by how long you and the postmaster discuss the rising lump in his pants. When he points out that you and your brother hug too long in the bathroom to be appropriate or that your gynecologist is a lesbian and obviously has the hots for you because she said you "taste good", it's time to give him his walking papers.

However flattering his jealousies may seem in the first five minutes of your relationship, they'll get old and confining more quickly than you can imagine, and when you do finally break up with him, he will hang the scarves you left behind on your trees like nooses and follow you and the next man you date all over town. Or at least that's what you hope he'll do! Cause be honest, jealousy is flattering, even when it's totally warranted, you (go girl) cheating little skank!

The Bully

This is the man who sits you down, grabs your arm, pulls your hair, or pokes your chest. While most of us know better than to let ourselves get socked in the mouth the way Ralph Kramden was always threatening to do to Alice (but even then never following through), there's a whole universe of more "minor" infractions in the violence department that should disqualify your new beau instantaneously (but all too often does not). Even if you enjoy the old rough-and-tumble, believe us at Harpo. You don't know what you're talking about. You're not even allowed, legally, to enjoy it. We said.

The Two-Timer

For the first time since you've been dating, he's too sick to make a date. You try to ignore the fact that it happens to be your birthday, and you assemble the ingredients for your famous chicken soup. You drop it off inside his door.

Two days later, he's still sick, but you've been invited over. You ask if you can heat up some soup for him, and he says, in a small, congested voice, "That would be wonderful." You pour the soup from the Tupperware into the pot, and you see that there are mushrooms in it. Your famous chicken soup doesn't contain mushrooms. Conclude that this man has another source of soup and will continue to cheat on you for as long as you give him the chance. Because all people are predictable and the same and you should hold them to terribly exacting standards forever, even if you've only been on one date. (PLEASE, ladies, learn from Hugh Grant-- remember - he's NOT a catch!!!)

The "Liberated" Man

I used to have a friend who said, "I seem to have a very liberating effect on whatever man I'm dating. We go on three dates, and the next thing I know he's moved in with me, he's quit his job, and his car is up on blocks in my yard."

Certain men are more prone to this type of liberation than others, I have found: Carpenters, river guides, and flamenco guitarists all fall into the category of men who are perfectly willing to hand themselves over to the care of a good woman, as well as visual artists, stage performers, and racers (ski, bike, boat) of all kinds. Are you fucking kidding me? "Good woman"? Then you have the gall to LIST occupations of men likely to be freeloaders? Where did you get this list? Make it up? Dudes that fucked you over? This article is sexist!

The Betrayed

I seem to have dated an inordinate number of men who have just been left by a woman for a woman. I'm what's known as a "slut," and these men are known as... whatever the male equivalent of a beard is. In general, these men are angry beyond all reason, no matter to what lengths they may go to disguise it, and if you date one, be ready to give up all your girlfriends, or you will be accused of being a lesbian, too. Because that is what will happen. No matter what. I says. Because broad generalizations are always true. Of everyone.

The Narcissist

He doesn't like your dog? Do we even need to talk about this one? Put it at the top of the category that includes he won't make eye contact with your kid, he doesn't want to meet your sister, and he whines the first time you make plans with your girlfriend. Or anything else mildly annoying. Life is not about compromise.

A man threatened by the love you have for the dog you sleep with is going to be threatened by more things than you can name. But I'll try: your friends, the people you have internet sex with, your Myspace posse, your Facebook crew, the 65 guys you Twitter everytime you twitter yourself a big o, all people who who watch your web-cam productions, and so on. This will quickly become intolerable and totally cut off your freedom. Dating him is inviting the type of conflict into your life that will make you tired before you even get up in the morning. He sucks.

Mr. Resentment

Pay close attention to how he handles your accomplishments. If you get a promotion with a raise and he breaks it down to show you how it really only amounts to six dollars a day after taxes, that's the first strike, because there's no way he's just figuring out your finances along with his. It's definitely meant as a jab at your womanhood. When he uses any expression like "your little project," count that as two, three if he's talking about a bitching knitting project.

Just because men are having a hard time adjusting to the idea that women are capable breadwinners doesn't mean you have to martyr yourself into helping them make the transition. There are men out there who are more than happy to bask in the glow their women cast and to consider your talents a positive reflection on them. But your probably shouldn't date them, either, because if he's TOO comfortable with you making as much as he does, he might then get lazy and... see the dreaded entry "The Liberated!"

The Virtual Lover

What a relief it is when a man doesn't try to force you into bed on the first date. How charmed you are when, on the third date, he says he wants to wait until "you both can't stand it anymore." How sympathetic you become when, on the sixth date, he tells you how badly he was hurt by your predecessor. How confused you are six months later when you've realized his pager goes off every time you get naked, but he's still sending you roses and talking teddy bears. See, this one's complicated. You want him to want to have sex with you but not expect it. Ever. Basically, you want to be the one holding the purse strings, so to speak, not him. You'd obviously rather have him blue-balled than seemingly uniterested. This one is a no win.

A surprising number of great romancers out there never get around to having sex. To the date-weary woman, this can seem like not the worst combination, but beware. Eventually he will blame his problems on the smell of your breath or the size of your thighs. None of that will be true. There's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect. It's all him.

The Guy Who Had the Happiest Childhood This Side of the Beav

His mother was perfect; his father never smoked or drank or cheated. He hates the way his friends blame their parents for everything, when he and his seven brothers and sisters had love pouring down on them from the moment they woke in the morning until they went to bed.

However refreshing this might sound the first time you hear it, listen carefully for a voice that is trying to convince itself, listen for the creak and crack of a personal mythology in the throes of shattering. When it comes crashing to the ground, it's going to make a very big noise, and most likely your relationship will come crashing down with it.

Also, don't date men from broken homes. You know what happens:

We know, the remaining options, once you discount all these losers, are Justin Timberlake and Josh Groban, one of whom is bound to be gay. That leaves one for the rest of us to split. Oh well. Anyway. If you follow these simple tips, you'll be alone, so alone (but not under-appreciated or taken for granted!!!) forever.

In case you didn't realize, this piece is satire. It was originally written for Oprah.com by Pam Houston and published on CNN.com. The original piece, while totally insane and horrific, didn't contain the word fuck. View and compare it here. I changed less of it than you would think. I actually agree with the general sense of the article, I just despise the "life is exact to 'Sex and the City'" tone to the piece, and think that it contributes to a dialogue among women which encourages self-esteem in really back-stabbing ways. For instance, what woman has dated an "inordinate" number of men who have been left by a woman for another woman? Is it so many that the resulting men must become their own category of un-dateable? Or is the article somehow supposed to make me feel less cool about myself because I haven't really encountered that much drama in dating... just guys I don't like, or that don't like me? Why am I so uninteresting?

Where's the Missing Puzzle Piece?

Two guesses.

26 February 2008

My Tummy Talks About: Casanova Restaurant

Words can't express how good Casanova's food is. Really. They make great pizza, their pasta sauce is delicious, and they even have great desserts (their cannoli are awesome-- I don't know if they make them, but kudos to them for stocking well regardless). We have never eaten inside this restaurant-- it never looked that attractive or inviting, though it underwent a major renovation this past summer and now looks really nice. No, this is the kind of food that you order and have delivered to you. They make the best alfredo sauce I've ever had. Honestly. The pizza is a little salty, I'll be honest. But still really good. Not the cheapest for what what you are getting, but the portions are gigantic. They deliver until 10 (11 on weekends) and do it quickly. Enough said.

Casanova is at 338 McGuinness Blvd, in Greenpoint.

Anti-Depressants Don't Work (Unless You Really Need Them)

I'm not a doctor. However, I was not really surprised by the story published by the BBC today, in which new research demonstrates that anti-depressants don't work any better than placebos for the mildly depressed (this is just one in a long line of recent articles in the British press to question the efficacy of such prescription drugs). In fact, they only demonstrate "clinical significance"in the severely depressed. This is unsurprising, since the drugs should only affect the moods of those with actual serotonin deficiencies.

Also revealed in the study is the unsurprising fact that when their drugs are in trials, pharmaceutical companies only publish the data which backs up claims that the drugs work.

In the United States, as, apparently in the UK, we have a multi-dimensional problem with mental health, drugs, and ourselves. First, these drugs are obviously over-prescribed to the point of retardation. All you need to do is say you're tired to some doctors and you can get a prescription for some low-grade prozac. This of course, draws attention from the real sufferers of depression, people who deserve our support and sympathy, the best that science has to offer, and sometimes, our coolest drugs.

The point for me is that people won't listen no matter what the evidence. I'm fairly certain we are not supposed to feel happy all the time. I'm fairly certain that there's a lot to be unhappy about, to feel stress and anxiety about, in our personal lives, and in the world at large. To feel like you can't "deal" with that sometimes is very natural, and very healthy responses to perceived outside stressors. On top of that, people want an easy solution, and anti-depressants are like diet-pills in that respect: research might show again and again only moderate results, but people will still take that over actual hard work. There are no easy solutions, and the truth is that mild depression is sometimes in order. These issues have been well-noted over the past decade, so I'm not sure I need to say anything more about them.

What I will say, is that this "new" evidence that the drugs don't work unless you're really sick seems pretty common sense, pretty intuitive to me. The way that depression is "diagnosed" to begin with is fairly subjective, and it seems to me some serious caution is in order -- but of course, we passed that point long ago.

Striving for perfection is an obsession in this world. We have convinced ourselves we should be really skinny, all the while getting fatter; we should be happy all the time, which of course only leads to further feelings of inadequacy when we don't; we all want to be famous, but we don't want to take the time to achieve anything or know anything, so we head for reality tv.

God. I'm getting depressed just thinking about it. Maybe we don't even know happiness when we see it anymore. Maybe we've confused happiness with complacency, which is, in my opinion, never a good feeling to have.

25 February 2008

My Tummy Talks About: Tuk Tuk

We've been to Tuk Tuk in Long Island City (they also have a location in Carroll Gardens, apparently) twice now, and ordered take out from there once. They have by far the best Thai food that we have had in the immediate vicinity of our apartment, and the surroundings are pretty welcoming.

In my experience, there is "bad" Thai food and "good" Thai food- and there are levels of quality within each variety. To say that something is really good "bad" Thai food is not a negative thing at all- though it sounds like it, of course. What I mean by "bad" is that its food that is meant to be wolfed down -- not the most attractive meal you've ever eaten, but it's cheap and often quite tasty. That's not the same thing, of course, as bad "bad" Thai food.

Anyway, Tuk Tuk is "good" Thai food without being overly formal. It is attractively presented -- nice to look at. I don't know if they make their own noodles but regardless, they are quite delicious. The staff is really nice, the decor is really cute, so it's the kind of place that you could go for a quick lunch, or for a nice informal date, if you know what that is.

It is only adding to my sensation that Long Island City is a place I would like to live... not just for the restaurants, though, they are a major facet of any living scheme of mine.

Tuk Tuk is located at 49-06 Vernon Blvd. in Long Island City.

Here are some others I have enjoyed:

Cafe Henri
Tournesol

24 February 2008

Is This Guy Fucking Serious?

Ralph Nader has entered the 2008 Presidential Race. I have nothing to say about that. Sike!!!

Wikipedia: Confirmed to be Run By a Pack of Losers You'd Never Want to Meet IRL

Slate published a pretty great article yesterday about the myth of
Web 2.0 "democracy" -- a subject close to my heart but one which I've not ever found five seconds to devote to writing about it. This article sums up the facts I already knew were... facts, but I guess I have a few things to say in addition to....

I agree that the "myth" of direct democracy is in fact a myth. Anyone who has ever done any editing on Wikipedia (as I myself have... but only a little, and only to things like the entry on Eliza Haywood) or even clicked that "History" or "Discussion" tab on a hotly contested or front page article can see that there are only a few cooks tending to the soup. And you know, the saying does tell us that too many cooks will spoil it. Slate also tells us that as if it's a positive thing. And it is... or should be.

The problem with the 6-10 ten cooks that Wikipedia has is, of course, that they are the cooks not because of their credentials (no, that's very un-Web 2.0, that's snobbish and not democratic in any way at all!!), but merely by force of their participation. The most powerful are, in effect, the ones that stay up all night making massive edits and writing long entries on things like... Madonna, the whip stitch, and Lady Elizabeth Cary. Oh wait, that's me. Anyway, the point is that I'm not suggesting there is a definite, better way to run the shithole, and Wikipedia is pretty reliable, at least on the entries that have high-traffic. -- The system seems to work, at least, kind of.

Unfortuantely, like everything else, the internet is a popularity contest of sorts, and I just don't have the stamina, the insomnia, or the capability to take enough drugs to stay awake all night in order to be one of the Top 100 Diggers. I just don't care that much. And that, I guess, is my problem. If I rely on Digg for some part of my news (I'm not saying that i do!!!) do I really want the "top stories" to be determined by 3 guys who have each dugg over 10,000 stories this month?! I fink not! So I guess it's like a Greek House, but with less beers and whores.

23 February 2008

Cookie Pan!

I've wanted one of these for a very long time. Today, I got one. I'm so excited to make the cookies!! Then we're going to sit around and read Swann's Way aloud to each other while eating them and drinking tea!

My Tummy Talks About: Settepani Bakery

We were in here today for literally about two minutes. The people were nice, and I got one of the best cupcakes I've ever had. Seriously. Trumps Magnolia any day. Will go back. Almost bought an entire cake. Lovely. 65 stars.

18 February 2008

My Tummy Talks About: Artisanal Bistro

Valentine's Day: 9:30 pm reservation

I've wanted to go to Artisanal for quite a long time. It's a really nice place, quite massive, but not too fancy. They specialize in cheese. They have tons of cheese.

We had their house fondue which was really delicious. I'm usually pretty partial to my own fondues, but this was fantastic. For entrees, I had Salmon (totally excellent), and Josh had the Filet Mignon, which he said was super wonderful. The food was just perfect.

However, it was Valentine's Day: totally packed full of customers who did NOT want to be cool about waiting a few extra minutes for their meals. We saw two tables of four unhappy customers laying into the waiter, then the manager. I guess they ate for free, but it always makes me uncomfortable to hear people complaining. I confess I almost always sympathize with the staff in these instances. Like, how can the waiter make your food arrive faster? He's just standing around waiting for it to show up, too!!

This brings me to another point. We got free desserts to bring home with us: they were an apple tart and a praline type cheesecake. TOTALLY awesome. We could NOT have eaten dessert there, we were far too stuffed, so this was really nice. However, we didn't do anything to deserve free dessert, nor did Artisanal do anything wrong which would require free items. I guess if we had actually complained or done anything other than be super nice to our poor waiter, he would have given us our dinners free too. I know that the direction the world is taking is like this-- Burger King forgets your fries at the drive-through, so you get free Whoppers for a year, I guess because food establishments are SO terrified that you'll never return, and customers are just dying to complain the second they're down a crouton, even people like Josh and I, super nice and understanding when it comes to things like the time it takes to cook something super fucking awesome are given really special treatment. I mean, these people were just putting out fires that weren't even there. And I understand that-- I worked in restaurants for years, and the same thing used to happen to me: once something got fucked up, you started to think that just EVERYONE was mad at you. I remember the sympathetic couples saying "Oh don't worry about it... there's nothing you can do!!" and thinking how great they were. Now, I'm one of them! I guess that's a good thing.

Anyway, Valentine's Day is not the day to go out to eat. Other customers ruin the dining experience.

Artisanal Bistro is located at 2 Park Avenue, NY NY

Where's the Beef? Oh, You Eated It?!

First, they said the cattle had been mistreated so badly that the meat they ultimately turned into "might" be a sad, uneatable mess. That was on January 30. Then, yesterday, the USDA finally recalled the meat that had a "remote probability" of causing health problems (143 millions pounds of it!!) Today's top story? The "great majority" of it has probably already been eaten. You don't say!? It's not just laying around uneaten for months at a time?! What a sad debacle.

17 February 2008

Massive Beef Recall Ensues After it Becomes Obvious the Cattle are Tortured, Unhappy, and Giving off Bad Vibes

This is totally disgusting but not at all a surprise. After it came out not too long ago that there was serious video documentation of beef cattle being tortured and weakened to the point that they could not even walk (poor guys!!!!), I thought it was at the very least "weird" that the CNN story I read about it focused almost completely upon the concern that maybe the beef had eaten up all those bad vibes as a result of the torture! Apparently, the concern runs a bit deeper than that, and 143 million pounds of beef has been recalled. This is BY FAR the largest recall of beef in U.S. history (our previous record was like 37 million pounds, to give you an idea of how serious this is), and should be a wake up call to all of us. Cattle should not be tortured. AT ALL. And if we continue to only pay attention to shit like this when it gets into the actual food supply, we will surely pay the price for our laziness, our ever avaricious need for more meat, more everything, more whatever we want, and our lack of caring for anything that surrounds us. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Obama: Do You Need an EMT, Some Water, a Chair?

I found this video of Obama reacting to about a half-dozen fainting incidents at his speeches last night on Gawker, -- and while they seem to be particularly anxious to point out the "religious" undertones of the events in the video, I think anyone who's ever been to a rally knows that faintings are unsurprisingly common - you wait standing for ages, there's never any food at them, it's usually hot, etc. What I think is odd about the video us just the simple fact that you don't usually get to see the speaker reacting to the experience. Anyway, it's really funny.

15 February 2008

My Tummy Talks About: Dressler by way of Paloma and Brooklyn Label

I'm tempted to refer to it as my "stomach," because tummy seems like such a childish word for what is a very refreshingly adult restaurant. Finding a new restaurant, for us, often begins with several steps of misery and torture -- I don't know why it's that way, that's just the way we are, I guess.

Anyway, we were first confronted with the possibility of Dressler a few months ago, when someone mentioned going there for a large group birthday dinner. Josh and I checked out the website and menu, and got a little sour, for they seemed to serve a great quantity of politically incorrect meats, and, well, to be honest, these restaurants in Williamsburg start to all look the same... a Duck entree here, Broiled Bass there... you get the picture. Oh, and it seemed that this place was owned by the DuMont people, and we don't really love them. Anyway, Dressler was deemed too expensive and upscale for a birthday party, so we didn't go.

Several months have passed, and we've considered going several times... mostly because Dressler doesn't fit the mold of the "Williamsburg" restaurant in that it is a lot nicer than most of them. Slightly more pricy, but more formal. So we knew it might be a good place to go for a "nice" meal, and my resolve to hate it was beginning to crumble.

Then last Saturday night, we decided to go out to dinner. We thought, well, we'll give Paloma, the place in Greenpoint another chance (we became convinced this place was rotten because although the food was really very good, the two times we ate there the service was the slowest I've ever been party to, and the third time we tried to go it was "closed for a private party" despite the fact that there seemed to be only six people in there). But we wanted to go again. So we did. It was about 8:45 pm when we walked in. The girl behind the bar immediately informed us that they were currently closed for a private party, and would be opening at 9 to serve dinner. Now, like I said, it was about 8:45. She didn't say, "hey, maybe you could sit at the bar where no one is and have a drink," -- she just basically was like, "leave for 15 minutes, we don't care about having your business." Now granted, 15 minutes in the spring or summer? No big deal. A 15 minute wait in the winter, outside, when you're hungry is a deal-breaker. We are not hard to please but will NEVER go back there again. It was decorated like someone might be having a home rave there in the near-future anyway. Cool dj 'tables, dude. Later.

So, we decided to head over to Brooklyn Label, which is pretty reliably good though really unhealthy feeling. Sign on the door: "Get in here and Eat, Our kitchen Closes at 9 today!!" Not fucking kidding.

So we drive to Williamsburg. By this time it's like 9:30 -- prime Saturday night dinner times. We decided to check out Diner, just knowing it will be packed - and it was. They said 45 minutes.

We went to Dressler. They had no tables, so they installed us at the little bar/counter which is against the window. It was super busy but the service was really good. We had a good bottle of white wine while we waited for our food. They use nice heavy flatware and real napkins. They have bussers who refill your water and are nice to you. The waitstaff aren't all indie rockers who couldn't give a fuck about your dining experience, and the patrons seem to be real people (read: they're mostly old, like us).

The food is really spectacular. It is pricy, but very much worth it. I had the Baby Beet Salad for starters, then the Striped Bass as an entree. Josh has the Warm Artichoke Salad and the Braised Short Rib and Grilled Hangar Steak, which, I have to say, was about the best piece of meat that I've ever eaten in my life. To be honest, I was not even sure what I was eating half the time, but all of it was super delicious. It really was one of the better meals I have had in quite a while. For dessert I had the cheesecake which was served in a cup alongside two of my favorite ingredients in the world: citrus fruits and basil. That made it delicious and I wish I could have finished it!!!

The END.

Dressler is at 149 Broadway in Brooklyn NY

CNN: Some voters say sexism less offensive than racism

Story Highlights:
-Clinton and Obama confront sexist and racist attacks
-Experts say subtle racism may be more dangerous than overt sexism
-Experts ask laypeople what they think-- and believe them when they say they want stuff that's really dumb
-Junior Leaguers trying to focus on the issues, and not race, gender, religious affiliation, beliefs, principles or anything else awesome

Editor's Note: CNN reached out to a group of Ohio women to get their views on the role sexism and racism are playing in the presidential race.

COLUMBUS, Ohio (CNN) -- The simple fact that either Hillary Clinton, a white woman (like Sheryl Crow or Gwyneth Paltrow), or Barack Obama, a black man (think Denzel Washington), will likely be the Democratic nominee for president is fueling a nationwide debate about how sexism and racism may shape this campaign.

At a tea party with members of Columbus, Ohio's Junior League we posed the question: Is overt sexism more acceptable than overt racism?

Voter Babette Feibel (white like Fergie -- we mean Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of whatever) told us, "Sexism of the nature Hillary Clinton is experiencing has been around as kind of an acceptable joke for years. As far as racism, it's definitely not politically correct or acceptable," adding, however, she finds both to be "equally hilarious."

Hillary Clinton has had to deal with plenty. At a rally, hecklers yelled to her to "iron their shirts," (which she did, she needs the votes), Radio host Rush Limbaugh (white like John Goodman) told listeners, "Will this country want to actually watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?"

MSNBC's Chris Matthews*(white like... paper) suggested "the reason she's a U.S. senator, the reason she's a candidate for president, the reason she may be a front-runner is her husband messed around." Try as we might, we can't really figure out just what the fuck this could possibly mean. Did he mean she got votes because we felt bad for her? Where did the sympathy suddenly run off to now!?

Hillary Clinton's hairdos, ankles, ass cheeks, and even her cleavage have sparked discussion.

"To make it about her cleavage or fat ankles, it is ridiculous. That is offensive!" said voter Melissa Barrett Kirtley (white, like Julia Roberts); "Ass cheeks are an acceptable criteria to judge though. So is favorite color, fashion designer, sitcom, and chain restaurant! I like Olive Gardens."

Most of the junior leaguers said they thought similar attacks on Barack Obama's race would spark more outrage.

Why, then, does it appear this behavior toward Clinton is accepted?

Dr. Yvonne Scrubbs-Leftwich (white? not white?), a former president of Black Leadership Forum (probably black, like Sade) and now a professor at the National Labor College, suggests racial guilt, and the fact that we "totally fucked up for a really long time" may have something do with this behavior.

"There have been enough examples now of how misguided the earlier stereotypes and characterizations of African-Americans (blacks) have been so that there has been in fact some overt adjustment to how African-Americans are addressed and are verbally considered in public."

At our tea party of white people, white voter Mabel Freeman told CNN: "In this country, as awful as sexism has been, people lost their lives for civil rights. I mean, I heard that that happened. I guess its debatable like... the Holocaust or that genocide in umm.... that big country to the right."

Obama hasn't been free of jabs, but certainly fewer of them have come his way.

He's been called a fundamentalist Muslim even though he (says he) is a Christian, and his middle name, Hussein, has been compared to Saddam Hussein. You know, because they're the same name. He's also been accused of being "too awesome" by some. The thing is, he's so great! And also, none of these things really attack him based on his race. This article seems to be veering out of control.

Even Rush Limbaugh (WHITE), not playing favorites, created a song about Obama called, "Barack the Magic Negro." Wait, he actually did this? Dude. That's fucked up. WTF. I think he should probably just retire.

Why does it appear to be all uphill for Hillary Clinton while Barack Obama's "racial teflon," as some columnists and bloggers call it, deflects most of the comments about him?

Feminist pioneer Gloria Steinem (white, but kinda funky) recently wrote in a New York Times (white) Op-Ed piece, in which she endorsed Clinton, that "gender is the most restricting force in America," not race.

Ohio voter Mary Austin Palmer (white) agrees, "You always have to go three extra miles so that you can say I'm at least on par with you."

Online, Clinton is targeted too. Clinton toilet brushes are being marketed as your "First Cleaning Lady," and a Clinton nutcracker is also for sale. It cracks nuts between her legs. That left the ladies we talked to in Ohio outraged, because they like cracking nuts too. But nobody ever made nutcrackers that looked like them, because they're "unimportant."

And remember when the New York Senator's eyes teared up in New Hampshire?

Mary Austin Palmer (white) said if the election had been that day, she would've pulled the lever for Hillary Clinton. "They attacked her as a woman, I felt like you know, if we cry, then we are weak," she said. Asked what they thought might happen if Obama cried on the campaign trail? Voter Carolyn Pettigrew (so white) laughed, and suggested, "they would probably say he was a very sensitive male."

Still, experts warn subtle racism might be more dangerous than overt sexism. Also, subtle sexism might be considered sexy by overt racists, while overt sexiness is titillating to both overtly subtle racists and subtley overt sexists. Sexy!!

In other words, at least the sexism is out there and Clinton can defend herself against it. With subtle racism, there's little chance. Scruggs-Leftwich warns, "The kind of offensive behavior that you recognize the minute it begins to unfold can be defended against in a very different way from the way that one has to strategize, to defend against subtle racism." We didn't delve too deep into trying to unpack that statement cause it's pretty complex. We'll ask Anderson once he gets in. At fucking 4 pm.

One voter says Bill Clinton's (black?) gentle reminder to voters that like Obama, Jesse Jackson (black) won South Carolina too could be seen as subtle racism. Carolyn Pettigrew (wait, NOT white), a black woman, suggests, "that is code for reminding majority people, he is an African-American."

With more than eight months to go before the election, it's too early to know just how sexism or racism might affect the vote, but the ladies at the Junior League say, even though they're trying to focus on the issues, it's tough to ignore gender and race. But here at CNN, the best political news team on television (white) is committed to helping out wherever we can.

*we fixed CNN's typo here, we're pretty sure Matthews has two 'T's.

My Tummy Talks About: Lamb and Jaffy

I have lived in Greenpoint for two years now and never once set foot inside of Lamb & Jaffy. Don't get me wrong -- I've brought it up as we walked past it innumerable times, but Josh has always said the same thing: he was there once, the food wasn't that good and the service stunk, and he didn't want to go back. And you know, that's a powerful feeling about restaurants -- it's the reason restaurants die out all the time. And honestly, Josh isn't the only person who lives in the area who has expressed such disdain.

However, it is REALLY close to our apartment, and in Greenpoint, there are VERY few places to go to get a nice brunch -- like, if you don't want to go to Williamsburg. And we didn't. So last Saturday, we went rather grudgingly but also hopefully, to Lamb and Jaffy.

First off, let me say that the decor of this place could not be better. There is something really cozy about it- the front windows, the heavy drapes, it is a really inviting atmosphere. And that's important. So they get a lot of points with me there, because I feel like a lot of the restaurants in this tier that we go to are really homogenously decorated -- they all look the same. This place really does have some character, and it's character that's not off-putting, but that adds to the experience of eating there. As it should be.

Foodwise, I'm pretty sure that brunch is not the best meal by which to judge a restaurant, but you know what? It's my favorite meal to eat at a restaurant, so here goes. The brunch menu has a lot to offer. Seriously, everything sounds good, and they go a bit beyond the total standards (Eggs Benedict, French Toast) and add some weirdness. I can't remember what that weirdness was, though, because I was too caught up in thinking about the French Toast. Vanilla French Toast. So that's what I ordered. Vanilla French Toast, Coffee, and a Mixed Green Salad.

The coffee that they serve is delicious. That's a point in their favor for sure, because even a lot of nice places serve super swful coffee. They also give you a little pot of extra coffee so they don't have to run over to refill every three seconds. Also great. They also served us some muffin/scones type things that were SUPER delicious, and they served them with some fanciful unknown style of butter/lard that was ridiculous. Ridiculously awesome.

The salad was good. The dressing would have been delicious, had it not somehow ended up way over salted. At first I found it pleasing, until I realized it was interfering with my ability to taste anything but the salt. :( My vanilla french toast was also super awesome, not a single complaint. Josh said his Eggs Benedict were overcooked, and his English muffin was burnt, also a :( but we didn't complain...we're timid or self-loathing, I can't tell which. Almost all Eggs Benedict, we find, are over-cooked in restaurants, so after this meal, we came up with a theory that from now on, he should ask BEFORE they cook them for them to be "runny." We are brilliant. My home fried potatoes were SO GOOD.

We didn't eat anything else. I've also heard that the service at this place is bad. But it was really great this day, although it was not super crowded. So, there were a few little things that were bothersome or whatever, but overall, this is a place we will definitely return to for dinner, and should definitely be a neighborhood place you can go to and know you're going to get quality comparable to other similar (Williamsburg) restaurants. Oh, it's cheap too.

Until then...

Lamb & Jaffy is at 1073 Manhattan Avenue at Eagle Street, in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

13 February 2008

My Tummy Talks About: Ninja NYC

I love novelties and themes. I also don't mind a ninja or two. There was a Japanese "theme" restaurant where they did some dance moves with swords and cooked with fires near the town I grew up in. It burned down, but we certainly never forgot it.

The hostess at Ninja on the night that we were there-- well, let's just say she MIGHT have thought she ruled the universe. And really, who am I to question a blond American girl spewing fluent/furious Japanese into an X-Box 360 headset while checking her email? Cause, that's what it looked like she was doing.

What she actually was doing, apparently, was coordinating the "show" -- you enter the restaurant on ground level, but need to take an elevator down a floor to get to where you're going. We were late joining our party. Maybe she wanted to punish us. She did -- by making us wait around for the elevator for about 10 minutes despite the fact that the elevator was sitting there, empty the whole time. Once we got on the elevator, she screamed at us to get back OFF the elevator. Which we all did. Then we got back on. Needless to say, there was no show waiting for us on the next level. Just three very welcoming, pleasant ninjas. Maybe it was our punishment for not showing up as a complete group. But - no, the first part of our party had stories of the entertainments which they were treated to. So, as per usual, I was being punished for tardiness. What ELSE is new?!

Anyway. The food was pretty good. Nothing totally spectacular. I actually really found the surroundings to be pretty great, and I feel like big groups work well in this place. The dessert, which was Tiramisu, was shaped like a Bonsai tree. The "dirt" cup it was planted in was my favorite part of the presentation. I don't think people really go here for the food, so I'm not going to bother going into too much detail. I doubt I'll ever be back to this place again, but it was kind of a trip.

Ninja is at 25 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10003

12 February 2008

Wait, Here's the other one!